Ever since I was little, I have wanted to be a mom.
I am the oldest of my three siblings and I have always loved taking care of them. Being a mom has always been a desire of my heart.
My husband and I started trying for our first baby in November. We got pregnant and were expecting our baby at the end of July 2022. Throughout my pregnancy, everything was going well. We had an active little one on our hands and loved watching him move at each ultrasound we went to. I also was very nauseous in the first trimester, but I dealt with it knowing our darling boy was healthy.
In early March, I woke up with some blood in my urine. I called my doctor right away, and between many panicked tears, I made an appointment for that afternoon to see her. My husband and I went to the appointment, and the doctor said everything was looking good. We listened to Kaiden’s heartbeat and everything was looking good. I cried happy tears knowing Kaiden was okay.
That evening, I woke up with severe cramping and pain. I woke my husband up and we went to Emergency that night. We stayed the night in Emergency because I was 19 weeks. If I had been 20 weeks, they would have moved us up to the Maternity Ward.
It was the longest night ever. They scheduled us to have an ultrasound take place early that morning. Once we had the ultrasound done, we were told that Kaiden had moved down and was pushing on my cervix, which had opened prematurely.
We had a moment of hope when a nurse mentioned that there was a possibility that they could stitch my cervix and everything would be okay again. However, when we got to the Maternity Ward, the OB-GYN informed us that they were unable to stitch my cervix because I was 19 weeks. She said the cervix stitch would have needed to be done at 14–16 weeks. Our hearts broke.
I remember asking so many times if Kaiden’s heart was beating after each ultrasound that was done. And each time the answer was yes. Our fierce, strong warrior. Kaiden was a fighter from day one.
We decided to let things happen naturally. I went into labour, and we were able to see and hold Kaiden afterwards. We also had some pictures taken. The pictures have been something that both of our families have treasured.
We named our baby Kaiden because it means warrior. He was a fierce, strong fighter who will live on in our hearts forever. We had not found out if the baby was a boy or girl yet, and while in the hospital my brother texted me, “The baby is a little fighter. HE (because it is a boy) will pull through it.”
After this, we knew that he had to have a meaning like this for his first name. He was SO loved by SO many. He was going to be the first grandchild and first nephew on both sides of our families. My sister said afterwards, “I am proud to be an aunt to my angel nephew!”
We are thankful for him because he has led the way for his future siblings to make sure that this does not happen again for future pregnancies. He will forever live on in our hearts, and we look forward to the day when we can hold him again in a place where he will never experience any pain.
Thank you, Kaiden, for giving me SO MUCH JOY in the short time that we had you here. I love you forever, my fierce, strong, darling boy.
Waiting on Sunrise 