I went to my doctor on Wednesday. He told me everything looked good and I would be having my baby by the weekend. That night I woke up at 3 am to go to the washroom. I thought my water had broken, but it was red. I yelled for my husband. There was blood everywhere. We rushed to the hospital, which was only 5 minutes from home.
We were told, “I’m sorry, but there is no heartbeat.” I screamed and started to sob. My husband held me as we cried, and he told me we were going to trust God through this. All of a sudden, a peace that only comes from God swept through our hearts and filled that room. To this day, that peace is still with us even though we mourn for our son.
We were moved into a private room where my doctor came rushing in. A choice was given to us: deliver our baby naturally or do a c-section. They recommended natural delivery, so we chose that route. I was induced and 6 hours later, our son, Michael Doren, was delivered. As my husband and I held him, we couldn’t find anything wrong. He looked perfect. He had long fingers and toes. His dark hair had curls on the end.
Since the labour was so hard on my body, I had to stay in the hospital for another day and we held our son every chance we got. Our families and good friends came to see Michael and hold him. Then our pastors came and performed a dedication service for Michael with our family surrounding us.
The next day, our wonderful nurse gave us a beautiful box that had pictures of our baby, his little hat and blanket, and an imprint of his feet. We were given pamphlets and encouraged to seek counselling. As we were waiting for the elevator, another couple came in with us. They were carrying their beautiful baby and I held my little box. I cried and it hit me again that this was permanent. Our baby died! He was dead!
It was Thanksgiving when we went home. We entered our son’s room, and it was empty.
Waiting on Sunrise 