We were surprised I was pregnant again. After the shock subsided, we felt excited. As time went on, I started having a terrible feeling. I called my midwife many times and we’d talk. She shared with me that if I was feeling like something wasn’t right, I should trust my feelings. So she sent me to the hospital for tests.
A very kind female doctor let me know the baby was no longer living. It was hard to hear her as she gave the options of what to do next. I opted for the pills that would help the body start the process. She had the nurses from the Grey Nuns Pregnancy Loss Centre call me and talk through what I’d experience. I felt so alone and scared.
Finally I started to feel cramps. Then came excruciating labour, much worse than the nurses had prepared me for. I went into the shower and started having massive blood clots leave my body. I’d sit there holding them, searching for my baby. I was so exhausted physically and emotionally. I then went on to have four more bouts of painful labours over the coming weeks. I ended up in hospital over and over again.
I had one doctor tell me to suck it up. He told me to buy some pregnancy tests and pee on them every couple of days until I had a negative result. I was devastated by his words. Grey Nuns Hospital was much kinder to me. They figured there were pieces still inside producing hormones, causing labour to try to expel the rest. The nurses told me it was not typical. They couldn’t understand why I was experiencing so many labours.
It ended after 4 and a half weeks. A last bout came when my dayhome kids were at my house. I had to call friends and dayhome parents to come. They called an ambulance.
Waiting on Sunrise 