At 21 weeks gestation, I started having some mild bleeding and cramping. During an emergency ultrasound, they discovered that I was 2 cm dilated with bulging membranes. I was given the option to terminate the pregnancy, try a rescue cerclage and sew baby in, or expectant management.
My husband and I knew the only option for us would be the cerclage. Sadly, three days after the surgery, we found out the cerclage was failing. I was put on bed rest and hoped and prayed I would make it to viability. At 22 weeks and 6 days, the NICU team told us they would save our baby if he was born from this day forward.
At 23 weeks and 1 day, my water broke. When I looked down, all I could see was brown. I had developed chorioamnionitis, an infection of my sweet boy’s waters. Everything from that moment happened so rapidly. My contractions were coming non-stop and I was getting sick from infection. I was rushed to the OR for an emergency c-section. Elliott was born not breathing and weighing 1lb 6oz. The NICU team successfully resuscitated him and brought him to the NICU. I was able to go see him six hours after his birth.
After heading back to the postpartum floor, I rapidly developed sepsis and went into respiratory and kidney failure. I was rushed to the ICU. A breathing tube was inserted to help me breathe. My little boy was fighting for his life, and I was fighting for mine. We needed each other, but had no way to get to each other.
After I got a little better, my ICU nurse took me to the NICU. This was such a gift; being a nurse myself, I know a patient leaving the ICU is not common unless they’re going for tests. I got to hold Elliott skin to skin. It was the most precious memory I have of him.
I spent the time that I wasn’t at tests or receiving medications and my own treatments, with my little boy. It just wasn’t enough. 19 days after birth, Elliott developed necrotizing enterocolitis. The infection was too much for his little body, so his father and I made the decision to stop all care. At 5 pm on June 24, 2017, Elliott took his final breath in my arms, with his daddy by his side.
Waiting on Sunrise 