I had a normal and uneventful healthy second pregnancy up to 38 weeks. I noticed she wasn’t moving much and scheduled to have a non-stress test, but when I got to the clinic, they couldn’t find a heartbeat. That’s when I learned Maeve had died. I was rushed to the Royal Alex Hospital to get confirmation, then told my options. I had my midwife and doula and husband by my side as we made plans on how to give birth to Maeve.
Grief looked and still does look like tidal waves in an ocean. In the early days, I felt so angry and guilty because I couldn’t know when my baby needed help. I made a choice that day when we left the hospital to walk out of there being a “good broken,” and for me that meant I wasn’t going to close myself off from the world, but instead reach out to all the help I could get.
Waiting on Sunrise 