One year after the birth of our first, I became pregnant. At 10 weeks, I started cramping and bleeding but figured that happens to some women, so I rested and continued my day. That night, I had a huge gush of blood, became dizzy, and went to the ER. The doctor confirmed my miscarriage and kept me in the hospital to watch my bleeding.
Three months after that, I became pregnant again. We were camping and I started bleeding again, around 14 weeks. I didn’t panic because it happens to some women without ending in a loss. But the bleeding got worse. So we went to the hospital. They confirmed the second loss and determined I needed a D&C.
I didn’t know how I was supposed to feel. I felt confused because I didn’t understand why this had happened. I felt angry that my body betrayed me and there was nothing I could do about it. I tried to be rational so I wouldn’t have to be sad. I felt like I shouldn’t be as heartbroken as I was because nothing in my life had technically changed.
I felt everything but didn’t want to feel anything.
Waiting on Sunrise 