We knew we wanted to have our first child around age 25. We began trying and fell pregnant within the first couple months. I felt “off” but assumed it was a normal part of pregnancy. After visiting my doctor, I was told to go to the emergency department as it may be an ectopic pregnancy given my spotting, dizziness, fast heart rate, and ill feeling.
The doctors in emergency were unable to confirm but also had suspicions of an ectopic pregnancy. At discharge, I was told to repeat all the tests in a couple days. Upon return, that baby was confirmed to not be in the uterus and also miscarrying. That was a day that I will always remember, a day I felt my world crash down. The hopes and dreams and all the excitement we had for this little life that was no longer with us.
After dealing with the emotional and physical toll that our first loss had on both of us, we came to a decision to try again. We fell pregnant. As the tests came in and time was passing by, everything was looking great.
Just as I began to have excitement and hope for this new baby, I awoke one morning to spotting. My OB office had advised me that spotting can be normal in the first trimester and told me what to watch for. That same night, the spotting turned to cramping and bleeding. We went to emergency and again were told we lost the pregnancy.
A couple weeks after our second miscarriage, we fell pregnant again. This time unplanned but extremely wanted and loved. It took time for the doctors to confirm the new pregnancy given that my HCG levels hadn’t hit negative before we had fallen pregnant again. Sadly, shortly after confirmation, once again I lost our third pregnancy.
It took awhile for my husband and I to feel okay to try again, fearful of the outcome. But we both felt ready to do so and became pregnant. The bloodwork had come back not looking too good. It was unknown at the time if it was too early, that my body needed more time to try to build my levels up, or if it was miscarrying. Unfortunately at the next draw, the levels had reached negative and we lost our fourth precious pregnancy.
Waiting on Sunrise 